Friday, August 20, 2010

A few ways the world will end...

"the doomsday is coming", "world will end in 2012", "the final battle between the good and evil", "end of the world"... We've been hearing these things for quite a while now. Nostradamus, Discovery channel, astrologer 'punniyakodi', all of them have given their own versions...
  • Nuclear holocaust
  • Alien invasion
  • Global Warming
  • Asteroid impact
  • Global epidemics
  • Volcanic eruptions
  • Supernova
  • Sucked by black holes
  • 3rd world war
Heard all this already so many times...?

Listed below are a few weird/strange/'not thought about' ways in which the world might end.
  • Too much advancements in Genetic Engineering:- In about 60 years from now, the field of genetic engineering would have really developed, All governments will start granting huge funds to the scientists and research labs. initially all the inventions/creations/developments will be in small scale, like "chicken with 10 legs" (so that everyone gets a leg piece) and "dogs that look like dragons" [fan(ta)cy pets] etc...

    Slowly greed increases and we start developing a buffalo sized goats, whale sized prawns, monkeys with 6th, 7th and 8th senses, so that they can do our work etc, and obviously we get a whole range of "bt" stuff...! "bt tomatoes", "bt spinach" , "bt watermelon" to name a few...

One thing leads to another and the animals and plants take over the world and ultimately destroy the human race...

  • The 'CHINA' factor:- China starts to grow really fast (lets forget about India for a while). The value of yuan reaches new heights. at certain point, 1yuan becomes = 2000 dollars = 1800 pounds = 29000 riyals = 15 billion Zimbabwe money etc. China's power economically/socially/literally exceeds all other countries.  Other countries give up. So China starts conquering all the countries. very soon, the world becomes 'one giant China'... it will be no longer called 'the world' or 'the earth' instead they rename it 'the China'... from outer space it looks all red in colour! and now the aliens start putting up their industries in China and start importing goods from it... but a crucial decision is taken in the all planet association that China's development is a potential danger for the universe, hence they decide to destroy China (formerly known as earth)...

  • Divine intervention:- One fine morning god says "THAT'S ALL FOLKS"!!! (loony tunes/bugs bunny style)... But god should give us at least a 3 months notice I say... But what can we do? there's nothing like a labour law or something which is going to protect us!!!

  •  The Robots factor:- 
    • Time machine malfunction:- Humans start sending more and more robots back in time to fix many issues faced in the past, like preventing the Bhopal gas leak, convincing Hitler's mother for abortion etc (Terminator style)... one of these time machines, due some malfunction, sends the terminator way too many years back in time. Terminator meets Adam and Eve. And he terminates Eve for some reason. With no Eve around and nothing to do. Adam eventually dies, as the first and last human being. human race was never formed. world eventually gets destroyed (well,what do you expect robots to do?)
Last but not the least...(bonus)
  • Michel Bay directs a new Hollywood movie with a few Indian actors and releases it worldwide in 80 different languages. and why is this going to destroy the world??? the movie poster itself is self explanatory... the movie is about how a group of heroes save the world from something really bad (with mind 'bursting' stunts)... A film, which is all about saving the world, actually destroys the world?!!! now that is called irony...

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Fading of Information :-)

Picked this from my Organizational Behavior book! Funny read!

How information fades...

Memo from CEO to Manager:   

Today at 11 o’clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for 2 minutes. As this is something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for employees to view the eclipse in the parking lot. Staff should meet in the lot at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.    

Memo from Manager to Department Head:   

Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will appear for 2 minutes. For a moderate cost, they will be made safe with goggles. The CEO will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some information. This is not something that can be seen everyday.    

Memo from the Department Head to Floor Manager:   

The CEO will today deliver a speech to make the sun disappear for 2 minutes in the form of an eclipse. This is something that cannot be seen everyday so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven. This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.    

Memo from Floor Manager to Supervisor:   

Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the CEO will eclipse the sun for 2 minutes. This does not happen everyday. It will be safe, and as usual it will cost you.    

Memo from Supervisor to Staff:   

Some staff will go to the car park today to see the CEO disappear. It is a pity this doesn’t happen everyday.